SEMINARS FOR FEMALES (prepared and presented by males) 1. Elementary Map Reading 2. Crying and Law Enforcement 3. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR 4. You CAN Go Shopping for Less than 4 Hours 5. Gaining Five Pounds vs. The End of the World: A Study in Contrast 6. The Seven-Outfit Week 7. PMS: It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine "It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty...Deal With it" 8. Driving I: Getting Past Automatic Transmissions 9. Driving II: The Meaning of Blinking Orange Lights 10. Driving III: Approximating a Constant Speed 11. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving: It's As Simple As Oil and Water 12. Football: Not a Game: A Sacrament 13. Telephone Translations: formerly titled "Me Too" Equals I Love You 14. How to Earn Your Own Money 15. Gift-giving Fundamentals: formerly titled "Fabric Bad, Electronics Good" 16. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side 17. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry 18. Yes, You Can Fill Up At A Self Serve Station 19. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels 20. What Goes Around Comes Around: Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy 21. His Best Friend Can Be Yours Too 22. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out 23. Commitment Schmittment (formerly titled "Wedlock Schmedlock") 24. To Honor and Obey: Remembering the Small Print Above "I Do" 25. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House 26. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man? SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females) 1. Combating Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut 4. How to Fill an Ice Tray 5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money 6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am 7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques: formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks" 8. Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception 9. Get a Life: Learn to Cook 10. How Not to Act Like a Jackass When You're Obviously Wrong 11. Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right 12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence 13. You: The Weaker Sex 14. Reasons to Give Flowers 15. How to Stay Awake in Public 16. Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the bathroom 17. Garbage: Getting it to the Curb 18. You Can Fall Asleep Without IT if You Really Try 19. The Morning Dilemma if IT's awake: Take a Shower 20. I'll Wear it if I Damn Well Please 21. How to Put the Toilet Lid Down: formerly titled "No, It's Not a Bidet" 22. "The Weekend" and "Sports" are Not Synonyms 23. Give Me a Break: Why We Know Your Excuses are Bull 24. How to Go Shopping with Your Mate and Not Get Lost 25. The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency 26. Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex 27. Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes 28. Mothers-in-Law: They are People Too 29. Male Bonding: Leaving Your Friends at Home 30. You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver 31. Seeing the True You: formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson When Naked" 32. Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works 33. The Attainable Goal: Omitting "tits" From Your Vocabulary 34. Fluffing the Blankets After Flatulating is Not Necessary 35. Techniques for calling home