You might be a redneck if...

Your wife's Lady Remington is a 30-06.

Your snowmobile cost more than your kid's college education.

Your on a first name basis with the clerk at the Arkansas unemployment
office.

You think working at Mcdonalds means making the big bucks.

Your best cloths are reversible, Blaze Orange to Camouflage

People in Wisconsin act superior to you.

Your kid ace's the 3rd grade...on his 9th try.

A new car means a 1972 AMC Gremlin.

Watched the "Ricki Lake Show" because you thought it was about fishing.

Answer the question "How many rednecks does it take to change a light
bulb?" with none, we don't have electricity.

Consider Velcro to be high tech.

You think that "The straits of Mackinac" refers to the heterosexual
population on the island.

View working the drive through window as an important career
advancement.

Your telephone number has 3 digits...or less.

You think that a 6 pack of Strohs, a bag of Dorito's, salsa and bean dip
cover 4 of the 7 basic food groups.

You think your family tree is the one in the backyard with the tire
swing.

You saw a sign that said "Drink Canada Dry" and you've been trying ever
since.

You think that poached eggs means they were stolen from your neighbors
chickens.

You think the sign saying FINE FOR PARKING means this is a really good
spot to leave the car.

You consider Membership in the Michigan Militia as a viable military
career.

Your Jr. High School has a mandatory class titled Chainsaw Operation and
Repair.

You know 37 ways to prepare meals from roadkill.

Your idea of deer hunting is driving down the back roads in your 4 wheel
drive WITHOUT your gun.

When sent for a jack, you bring back a fifth of Lynchberg Tennessee's
finest.

Your mosquito repellent doubles as your aftershave.

Your daily log is something you burn for heat.

Your ice fishing shanty is better furnished than your house.

You think that The Milwaukee Brewers and the Green Bay Packers are labor
unions in Wisconsin.

Your favorite bar plays both kinds of music, Country AND Western.

Indoor plumbing is something you want to have someday.

Your wife and sister are the same person.

Your wife's new fur coat came from animals you trapped yourself.

You think Algebra is a type of woman's underwear.

You use 4 sheep to mow your lawn.

Nothing in your living room clashes with your stuffed moose head.

Your local bowling alley has 60 lanes so there's no waiting.

You think a Laundromat is something soft to kneel on when you wash your
cloths in the creek.

Your new goose down pillow was migrating south yesterday.

Your friends give you a really cool nick name, like stinky.