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Redneck Driving Etiquette
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When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires
 always has the right of way.

Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.

When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to
ask her to bring back beer.

Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.

Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.


Redneck Personal Hygiene -
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Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be a
hand-me-down item.

While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be
 done in private using one's OWN truck keys.


Redneck Dining Out
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Remember to leave a generous tip for good service. After all, their
 mobile home costs just as much as yours.


Redneck Entertaining in Your Home
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 Do not allow the dog to eat at the table . . . no matter how good his
 manners are.

 If your dog falls in love with a guest's leg, have the decency to leave
 them alone for a few minutes.


Redneck Dating (Outside the Family) -
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Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

Be aggressive. Let her know you are interested: "I've been wanting to
go out with you since I read that stuff on the men's bathroom wall two
years a go."

If a girl's name does not appear regularly on a bathroom wall, water
tower, or an overpass, odds are good that the date will end in
frustration.


Redneck Theater Etiquette
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What's the theater?

 Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately
 after the movie has ended.

Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven
 they can't hear you.


Redneck Wedding Etiquette
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Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.

It is not okay for the groom to bring a date to a wedding.

When dancing, never remove undergarments, no matter how hot it is.


Redneck Etiquette for All Occasions
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Never take a beer to a job interview

It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it's
 considered tacky to drive a U-Haul van to the funeral home.

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