A LETTER FROM A POLISH MOTHER TO HER SON

Dear Son,

I am writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.  Your Dad read in the
paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles from your home, so
we moved.  I won't be able to send you the address, since the last polish
family that lived here took the house numbers where they lived so that
they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice.  It even has a washing machine.  I'm not sure it
works too well.  Last week I put in a load of clothes, pulled the chain,
and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad, it only rained twice last week.  The first
time it rained for three days and the second time it rained for four days.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, your Aunt Sue said would be a
little too heavy to send in the mail with buttons, so we cut them off and
put them in the pockets.

We got another bill from the funeral home:  They said if we don't make
the last payment on Grandma's funeral...up she comes!  Your Uncle Stan
locked his keys in his brand new Buick yesterday.  We were worried
because it took him two hours to get Aunt Anna and the kids out.

Your sister had a baby this morning!  I haven't found out what it was
yet, so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle.

Your Uncle John fell into a whiskey vat.  Some men tried to pull him out,
but he fought them off and drowned.  We had him cremated and he burned
for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.  One was
driving, the other two were riding in the back.  The driver got out, he
rolled down the window and swam to safety.  The other two drowned
because they couldn't get the tailgate down.There isn't too much more
news at  this time, nothing much has happened.

				Love

				MOM

P.S.  I was going to send money, but the envelope was already sealed.