> This should make you squirm to think about!
>
> =====================
>
> This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College.
> For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from
> Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had
> the courage.
>
> Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the
> courage to ask her out.  She accepts, and they make dinner plans for
> Saturday night.
>
> Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like
> Prohibition is coming back.  Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he
> can't make it through twenty minutes without either puking or crapping.
> After several hours of this, he is able to stop puking, but he is still
> running to the toilet every 20 minutes to crap.  He doesn't want to
> cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again.
> So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about
> a 30 minute ride).
>
> They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the appetizers
> to use the bathroom.  They enjoy the rest of the appetizers without
> interruption, but he has to go back again during the entrees.  They
> decide to get dessert.  During dessert, our hero feels another rumbling,
> but doesn't want to look like a complete bathroom freak, so he holds it.
>
> After a few minutes, the rumbling subsides, but he still has a bit of
> gas stored up.  He decides to let this little bit of gas fly right there
> at the table (discreetly, of course).  Unfortunately, this little bit of
> gas came with another little surprise.  "Oh crap," he thinks (and
> feels).  Instead of running to the bathroom right away, our hero
> immediately leans on the arms of his chair to keep from sitting on this
> surprise.  He maintains this yoga position for the rest of dessert,
> trying to figure out what to do before his tan pants (a) start to smell,
> or (b) start to show stains on the outside. He quickly pays for dinner
> and they leave the restaurant.  Oh, by the way, he is walking like a
> cowboy.  On the way to the train station, they pass the Gap.
>
> "Do you mind if I run in and buy a sweater that I was looking at last
> week?" he asks.  "No problem, I'd like to look around too," she replies.
>
> They go into the Gap.  Fortunately, at the Gap, men's fashions are on
> the right, women's fashions are on the left.  They split up.  Our hero
> grabs the first sweater within reach, and hurries back to the khakis.
> After selecting a pair that most closely resemble his current outfit, he
> brings both items to the register.  His eyes are on his date (still on
> the other side of the store) to make sure that she doesn't see him
> buying the pants.  He doesn't even want the sweater, so he says through
> clenched teeth (just in case his date can read lips from 40 feet away)
> "Just the pants."
>
> "What?" asks the Gap girl.
>
> "Just the pants!"  (Eyes still trained on his date.)
>
> Gap girl:  "Oh, OK."
>
> He pays for the pants and walks over to his date, then they leave the
> store.  They board the train just before it leaves the station and find
> two seats in the middle of the car. Without sitting down, our hero
> excuses himself and walks to the bathroom in the back of the car.  He
> gets to the bathroom as the train departs, and quickly rips off his
> pants and boxer shorts. He rolls them into a ball and throws them out
> the window.
>
> After cleaning himself off, he opens the Gap bag and pulls out...just
> the sweater.