IT'S NOT EASY BEING A GUY 
 
 Men can't win when it comes to women 
 
 If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect 
 her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.  If you 
 stay home and do the housework, you're a sissy. 
 
 If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.  
 If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. 
 
 If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this 
 is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with 
 low pay, you should get off your butt and find something 
 better. 
 
 If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.  
 If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. 
 
 If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. 
 If you keep quiet, it's male indifference. 
 
 If you cry, you're a wimp.  If you don't, you're an 
 insensitive jerk. 
 
 If you thump her, it's wife bashing.  If she thumps you, 
 it's self-defense. 
 
 If you make a decision without consulting her, you're 
 a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting 
 you, she's a liberated woman. 
 
 If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, 
 that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor. 
 
 If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, 
 you're a pervert. If you don't, you're a fag. 
 
 If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, 
 you're sexist. If you don't, you're unromantic. 
 
 If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. 
 If you don't, you're a slob. 
 
 If you buy her flowers, you're after something. 
 If you don't, you're not thoughtful. 
 
 If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on 
 yourself.  If you don't, you're not ambitious. 
 
 If she has a headache, she's tired.  If you have a headache, 
 you don't love her anymore. 
 
 If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, 
 there must be someone else.