A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet 
rural pub.  She gestures alluringly to the barman who 
comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively 
signals that he should bring his face close to hers.  When 
he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is
full and bushy.  "Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly 
stroking his face with both hands.  
"Actually, no" he replies.  "Can you get him for me - I need

to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his 
beard and into his hair. 

"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the barman - clearly aroused.
 
"Is there anything I can do?"  "Yes there is.  I need you 
to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a 
couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck 
them gently.  

"Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."