A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a
drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps all
around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives
off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes
and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the
cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your
monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!",
says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron, "He
eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay
for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two
weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey
with him He orders a drink and the monkey starts running
around the bar again. While the man is drinking his
drink, the monkey finds a marachino cherry on the bar. He
grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats
it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey
did now?", he asks.
"Now what?", responds the patron.
"Well, he stuck a marachino cherry up his butt, then
pulled it out and ate it!", says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He
still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate
that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"