INNER SKELETON
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A 63yr old widow was admitted to the hospital Recife, Brazil, suffering 
abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long
skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had
become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.

 FEMALE SOFA
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A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the
examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was
found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged
between the folds of her vulva.

 PRICKLY PAIR
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In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He
complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." and it bit
him during sex. After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she
had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.

 PING PONG ANYONE?
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A 20yr old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said
that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, then his
boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel.
The concrete then hardened, causing constipation and pain. Under
general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed,
along with a ping pong ball.

 BLIND DRUNK
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A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain
while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out
halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a
suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and
discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had
been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

 (OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!)
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A couple hobbled into a Washington (state) emergency room covered in
bloody restaurant towels. The man had his around his waist and the
woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that
they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with
passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the
man. While in the act she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to 
clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and
desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in he head until
she let go.