Take The Ultimate Male Test:
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
  a) lovemaking
  b) screwing
  c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only
after you've both shared:
  a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
  b) your blood-test results
  c) five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:
  a) your partner climaxes first
  b) you both climax simultaneously
  c) you don't miss SportsCenter

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
  a) healthy, creative love-play
  b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
  c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find
     out about

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had
   sex with is:
   a) the best part of the experience
   b) the second best part of the experience
   c) $100 extra

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in
   the last month.  You tell her that it is:
   a) No concern of yours
   b) not a problem, she can join your gym
   c) a conservative estimate

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
  a) a myth
  b) an oxymoron
  c) a moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
  a) appetiser is to entree
  b) primer is to paint 
  c) a line is to an amusement park ride

9.  Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself
    saying at the end of a relationship?
  a) "I hope we can still be friends."
  b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
  c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
  a) probably needs a little more time before she can cope with
     that sort of intimacy
  b) is uptight and a waste of time
  c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

If you answered "a" more than 7 times, check your pants to make
sure you really are a man.

If you answered "b" more than seven times check into therapy,
you're still a little confused.

If you answered "c more than 7 times, "You da FULL BLOODED MAN!"