A man is stranded on a desert island.  One day he sees  a speck on the
horizon and he gets excited at the possibility of being rescued.  As the
speck gets closer he realizes it is too small for a ship.  As it
continues getting closer the man realizes it isn't even a boat.  As it
gets even closer he realizes it isn't even a raft.  Only when the it's a
few hundred yards out does he decide that it is a scuba diver swimming on
the surface.  The diver, who is gorgeous woman, comes ashore and says to
the man "how long has it been since you had a cigarette?"  The man replies
"12 months."  The woman unzips her wet suit a few inches and pulls out a
pack of Camels and a zippo lighter.  The man thanks her and smokes the
entire pack.  The woman then asks "how long has it been since you last
had a drink?"  The man says "even longer, 18 months."  The woman unzips
her wet suit a few more inches and pulls out a bottle of vodka and the
man quickly takes two shots.  The woman unzips her wet suit even farther
and asks "how long has it been since you had some real fun?" The man
gasps and says "you mean you have golf clubs in there too!"