Comparative Farting


1. The 'in' person - One who loves to smell his own farts

2. The amiable person - One who loves to smell other people's 
    farts

3. The proud person - One who thinks his farts are exceptionally 
    fine

4. The shy person - One who farts silently and then blushes

5. The impudent person - One who farts loud and then laughs

6. The scientific person - One who farts regularly but is 
    concerned about the ozone layer.

7. The unfortunate person - One who would love to fart but 
    shits instead

8. The honest person - One who admits he farted but offers a 
    good medical reason

9. The nervous person - One who stops in the middle of a fart

10. The homosexual person - One who smells a fart and starts 
     singing "Love is in the air!"

11. The dishonest person - One who farts and blames the dog

12. The Jewish person - One who won't allow others to smell his 
      farts

13. The foolish person - One who suppresses a fart for hours 
      and hours

14. The thrifty person - One who always has a good fart in 
      reserve

15. The strong person - One who has extremely powerful farts

16. The blonde person - One who hears a fart and answers the 
       telephone

17. The anti-social person - One who excuses himself and farts 
       in privacy

18. The strategic person - One who conceals his farts with 
       coughing

19. The sadistic person - One who farts in bed, then fluffs 
       the covers over his bedmate

20. The intellectual person - One who can determine from the 
      smell of a fart what was eaten lately

21. The athletic person - One who farts at the slightest 
      exertion

22. The optimistic person - One who farts with a clear 
      conscience

23. The miserable person - One who loves to fart but simply can't

24. The boisterous person - One who proudly announces a fart

25. The sensitive person - One who farts and then starts crying

26. The pessimistic person - One who drops a silent one and then 
       runs for cover

27. The eloquent person - One who farts just as much as is 
      necessary

28. The glad person - One who farts the normal amount and is glad 
      about it as he is convinced it is a sign of good health

29. The disgusting person - One who farts and then walks around to
disperse it evenly

30. The unlucky person - One whose farts are accompanied by solid 
      matter.