Comprehending Engineers, -Take One
 ************************************
     A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
     particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's
     with these guys?

     We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in,
    "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor
     said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him."
     "Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're
     rather slow, aren't they?"

     The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind
     firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a
     fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
     The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so
     sad.  I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
     The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
     ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for
     them."

     The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"


     Comprehending Engineers-Take Two
     ********************************
     There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all
     things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30
     years, he happily retired. Several years later the company
     contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were
     having with one of their multimillion dollar machines.

     They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine
     fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired
     engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
     The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day
     studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a
     small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and
     proudly stated, "This is where your problem is".

     The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.  The
     company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service.

     They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer
     responded briefly:
        One chalk mark $1
        Knowing where to put it $49,999
        It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

     Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
     **********************************
     What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
     Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

     Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
     *********************************
     The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
     The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
     The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
     The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries 
        with that?"


     Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
     *********************************
     Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
     possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a
     mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
     Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous
     systems has many thousands of electrical connections."
     The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would
     run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


     Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
     *********************************
     An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it
     was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
     The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
     foundation for an enduring relationship.
     The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the
     passion and mystery he found there.
     The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you
     have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending
     time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some
     work done."


     Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
     *********************************
     An engineering student was walking across campus when another
     engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.
     "Where did you get such a great bike?" asked the first.
     The second engineer replied "Well, I was walking along yesterday
     minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this  bike.
     She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said
     'Take what you want.'"

     The second engineer nodded approvingly "Good choice; the clothes
     probably wouldn't have fit."