A blonde walks into a beauty salon to get a hair cut with headphones on.
The hairdresser asks her to take them off for the haircut and she replies
"I can't, I'll die.  She proceeds to cut her hair and it looks awful.  Six
weeks later the same blonde comes in for another haircut.  The hairdresser
pleads with her "Please take your headphones off - I can make your hair
look beautiful.  Once again the blonde replies "I can't, I'll die".  So she
receives another awful haircut. Six weeks later the blonde show up at the
salon and once again the hairdresser says "Please take your headphones off
- I can make your hair beautiful if you would just take off the
headphones".  "I can't, I'll die
The hairsylist proceeds to cut her hair.  While doing so the blonde falls
asleep.  The hairsylist quickly thinks to herself - I will remove the
headphones and  replace before she wakes up and make her hair beautiful.
Seconds after doing this the blonde falls off the chair.  The hairdresser
checked her and she wasn't breathing.  Dying to know what was keeping her
alive with the headphones on, she places them on her head.  She hears
"Breath in, Breath Out - Breath In, Breath out.


========================================================================


 A blonde had a near death experience recently when she went
horseback riding.  Everything was going fine until the horse started
bouncing out of control.  She tried with all her might to hang on, but was
thrown off.  With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to
the ground.  Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse did
not stop or even slow down.

Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart
manager came out and unplugged it.

 Thank goodness for heroes.


=======================================================================


A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a
coke.
 The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She
returns
 and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps
 feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and
watches
 her antics for a few minutes before stopping and her and asking if
someone
 else could have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts in her face:
 "Can't you see I'm winning."
 *****************************
 Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their
 Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open,
but
 they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to
catch
 her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to
rain
 and the top is down."
 *****************************
 A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is
having
 an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day
she
 comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She
grabs
 the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed,
begging
 and pleading with her not to shoot herself.  Hysterically the blonde
 responds to the husband, "shut up...you're next!"
 *****************************
 Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
 It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
 *****************************
 What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
 They drowned in Spring training.
 *****************************
 What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
 "Look! they spelled MACY'S wrong.
 *****************************
 Why do blondes like lightning?
 They think someone is taking their picture.
 *****************************
 Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
 To see what was on the other side.
 *****************************
 How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
 Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
 *****************************
 Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice?
 Because it said 'concentrate'.
 *****************************
 A blonde woman competed with a brunette woman and a redheaded woman in
the
 Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The
brunette
 came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached
shore
 completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee she
 remarked, "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls
used
 their arms."