A Bloke in Australia walks up to the bar with a big ostrich behind
him and as he sits, a small cat jumps up on the stool beside him. The
barman comes over, regarding the trio with some curiosity and says, "What'll it
be?" The man says," I'll have a pint", and turns to the ostrich, "What's
yours?" "I'll have a pint as well" says the ostrich. Bloke looks at the
cat, and says "I suppose you want a drink, too. "The cat replies, "I'll have
a half, but I ain't fookin' payin'!" So the barman pulls two and a half
pints, and says "That'll be three pounds forty, please." The man reaches into
his pocket, feels around, and, to the barman's surprise, pulls out
exactly the three-forty in change.


A while later, the same thing happens, and the man pulls the exact
amount out of the same pocket.

The next day, the man, the ostrich, and the cat return to the same
bar. "I'll have a pint.", says the man. "Same for me.", says the
ostrich, and the cat orders up a half..."But I ain't fookin' payin'!"
Repeat of yesterday. The bloke pays each time with the exact amount from his
pocket. This becomes almost a regular routine until, late one evening, the
trio enters again.

"The same?" asks the barman. "Well", says the man, "it's close to last
orders. I'll have a large scotch." He turns to the ostrich enquiringly.
 The bird says, "I'll have a large scotch as well." The cat says, "I'll
have a small scotch... but I ain't fookin' payin'!"

The barman rings up the drinks and turns, with a sly grin,
"that'll be seven pounds twenty, please." To his amazement, the man 
pulls the exact seven & twenty out of his pocket.

As the trio are finishing their drinks, the barman can contain his
curiosity no longer. "Excuse me, sir, but before you leave there's
something I must know... how do you manage to always come up with
the exact change out of your pocket...every time?" "Well", says the man,
"it's a long story. But basically, several years ago I took care of 
an old lady well into her nineties, and when she died, she left me 
her old house. Nothing special, but as I was cleaning out the attic, 
I found an old lamp, and when I rubbed it, this genie appeared and 
offered me two wishes."

"That's fantastic", says the barkeep, "What did you wish for?"
"Well, if I ever need to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my
pocket and the right money will always be there."

"That's brilliant" says the barman, "most people would wish for a
million pounds or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for
as long as you live."

"That's right, whether its a quart of milk or even a Rolls Royce,
the exact money is always there. The best thing I ever did!"

As he turns to go, the barman calls him back and says, "One last
thing, sir... err, your friends there... we don't get many cats or
ostriches drinkin' in 'ere...?"

The man looks glum. "Yes, I know. That's probably the worst thing
I ever did, but I'm stuck with 'em. You see, for my second wish from the
genie, I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy."