2. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far,
    and fall over backwards.  Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes.
    Then, one day, repeat the falling-over excercise, but instead of
    laughing, get up, look at the chair  sternly, and say, "It's not 
    funny any more."

3. Read with a flashlight when the lights are on.  Pretend to read
    without one when the lights are out, remarking every so often how
    great the book is.

4. Get a surfboard.  Put it on you bed.  Stand on it, and pretend to
    surf for about fifteen minutes.  Then pretend to "wipe out" and
    fall off the bed onto the floor.  Pretend you are drowning 
    until your roommate comes over to "rescue" you.

5. Keep a hamster as a pet.  Buy a blender, and make milkshakes
    everday.  Then, one day, get rid of the hamster.  Make a shake using
    a lot of ketchup.  When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, 
    look at the empty cage and tell your roommate, "I was curious."

6. Make toast for breakfast every morning but don't plug the toaster
     in.  Eat the plain bread, looking at the toaster angrily
     and complain that the toaster doesn't know what it's doing.  
     If your roommate suggests plugging it in, go on a tangent about
     fire-safety hazards.

7. Pack up all of your things and tell your roommate that you're going
     away to "find yourself" Leave, and come back in about ten minutes.
     If your roommate asks, explain that you're not a hard man to find.

8. Never speak to your roommate directly.  If you need to ask or tell
     them something, go to another room and call them on the phone.

9. Every night, before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of
     water.  When he/she brings it, dump it on the floor and immmediatel
     go to sleep.  If he/she ever refuses to bring it, pretend to
     be dying of dehydration, making annoying gagging sounds until
     he/she does so.

10.Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and
     begin to violently slam dance with your roommate.  If she/he asks
     about it, say "Oh, that damn hypnotist..."

11.Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall.  Throw darts at it.
     Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to
     see you again."

12.Get a can of beans.  Label them "jumping bean."  Eat them and then
     jump around the room.  Get another can of beans and label them
     "dancing beans."  Eat them and then dance around the room.  Get
     another can of beans.  Label them "kill your roommate beans." 
     Eat them, smiling at your roommate.

13.Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes and then
     wake him/her up saying "It's time to go to bed now."

14.Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge of Allegiance" with
     you every morning.

15.Give each of your walls a different name.  Whenever you can't
     answer a  problem ask each of your walls.  Write down their
     responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. 
     Complain to your roommate that you don't trust the ceiling..

16.Put up traffic signs around the room.  If your roommate doesn't
     obey them, give him/her tickets.  Confiscate something your
     roommate owns until he/she pays the fines.

17.Walk,talk and dress like a cowboy at all times for about a week.
     If your roommate inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry little
     buckaroo.  You'll be safe with me."

18.Complain that your elbows, knees and other joints have been
     bothering you.  Get a screwdriver and pretend to "fix" them..

19.Paint abstract paintings and title them things like, "Roommate
     Dying in a Car Crash" and "Roommate Getting Whacked in the 
     Head with a Shovel."  Comment often about how much you love
     the paintings.

20.Wear glasses and complain that you can never see anything.  Bump
     into walls and doors.  Put your clothes on backwards.  Say, 
     "Who's that?" every time your roommate enters the room. 
     When you're not wearing glasses act like you can see fine.

21.Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.

22.Keep empty jars on the shelf.  Tell your roommate that this is your
  collection of "inert gases."  Look at them often.  One day, act
  surprised and angered and accuse your roommate of having released
  one of the gases. Cover your nose and mouth and run out of the room.

23.Wear scary Halloween masks.  Look in the mirror and scream
    hysterically every time you put one on.

24.Rollerskate up and down the hallway.  Every time you see your
    roommate crash into him/her,knock them down, apologize and 
    say that he/she looked like the "enemy".

25.If you know that he/she is in the room, come barging in out of
     breath.   Ask if they  saw a fat bald naked Tibetan man run
     through carrying a hundred dollar bill.  Run back out swearing.

26.Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start
    with "Didja ever wonder why..." be creative.

27.Dress like a military officer.  Insist that your roommate salute
    you upon sight.  If he/she refuses, insist that he/she do 100
    push-ups.  Keep saying things like, "Your momma isn't here to 
    take care of you any more."

28.Listen to radio static...Sing along.

29.Keep a collection of teeth in a jar.  Act excited whenever you add
    to it and say things like, "In a little while I'll have enough for
    that sailboat!"

30.Put your mattress underneath your bed.  Sleep down there and pile
    your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe.  If your roommate comments,
    mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.