Alligator

A man walks into a bar, with a huge alligator on a leash. He walks over to
the bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says "Sorry sir. You can't bring
that alligator in here! It's a dangerous animal, and you're scaring all of
the patrons!"

True enough, the man looked around, and noticed that everyone was standing
on the tables, looking very nervous.

"But wait!" he cried, "this alligator is tame! It wouldn't hurt anyone!".
However, the bartender is adamant.

"If", the man continues, "I can prove that this alligator is not vicious,
can he stay?".

"Well, I guess so", says the bartender, "however, you're going to have a
devil of a time proving to everyone in here that that alligator is tame!"

The man smiles, and leans over the alligator. "Ralph!", he shouts, "Sit
up!" With that, he beats the alligator on the head with his fist, bam, bam,
bam. And the alligator rears up on its tail.

"Ralph, open your mouth!" Bam, bam, bam. And the alligator opened its
huge mouth wide, revealing row upon row of gleaming white teeth. The 
man pulls out his penis and lays it in the alligator's mouth, as the 
entire bar crowd gasps.

"Ralph! Close your mouth, but DON'T BITE!" Bam, bam, bam. As the man
pummels the alligator on the head, the giant mouth slowly closes, and stops
just short of biting the guy's penis off.

The crowd sighs, and the man says "Ralph, open your mouth!" Bam, bam, bam,
and the alligator's mouth opens wide again.

"There," says the man to the crowd, "now would anyone else like to try this?"

A blonde in the back says "Yeah, I'll try, but only if you promise not to
hit me on the head so hard".