Sarcastic Remarks To Get You Through The Day
 
 
 1. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?
 
 2. Do I look like a people person?
 
 3. This isn't an office.  It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
 
 4. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
 
 5. I pretend to work.  They pretend to pay me.
 
 6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
 
 7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
 
 8. You...!  Off my planet!
 
 9. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes
    on my cats.
 
 10. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
 
 11. Errors have been made.  Others will be blamed.
 
 12. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
 
 13. Allow me to introduce my selves.
 
 14. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
 
 15. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets
     after them.
 
 16. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
 
 17. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
 
 18. Not all men are annoying.  Some are dead.
 
 19. A woman's favorite position is CEO.
 
 20. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
 
 21. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
 
 22. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't
     fallen asleep yet.
 
 23. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
 
 24. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
 
 25. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
 
 26. Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
 
 27. Nice perfume.  Must you marinate in it?
 
 28. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
 
 29. I plead contemporary insanity.
 
 30. And which dwarf are you?
 
 31. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
 
 32. Meandering to a different drummer.
 
 33. I majored in liberal arts.  Will that be for here or to go?