HUSBAND QUOTES


 I married Miss Right.  I just didn't know her first name was Always.
 ____________
 I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
 ____________
 Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
 ____________
 The last fight was my fault.  My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"  I said, "Dust!"
 ____________
 In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested.
 Then God created woman.  Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
 ____________
 Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
 ____________
 What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
 _________
 A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on
 Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days."
 She looked at him and said, "God, I wish  I had  your will  power."
 ___________
 Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
 Two mothers-in-law.
 ____________
 Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts
 of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
 Dad: That happens in every country, son.
 ____________
 A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified:
 "Wife Wanted".  Next day he received a hundred letters.
 They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
 ____________
 The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
 once.
 ____________
 First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"  Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's
 still alive."
 ____________
 How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
 ____________
 Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
 they had no faults at all.
 ____________
 If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word
 you say, talk in your sleep.
 ____________
 Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
 happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
 ____________
 A little boy asked his father,  "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
 And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.