Management has determined that there is no longer any need for
network nor software applications support.  (See below)

The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by December
31, 1999.  Instead, everyone will be provided with an
Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this:

1.  No Y2K problems
2.  No technical glitches keeping work from being done
3.  No more wasted time reading and writing emails

Frequently Asked Questions for Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over
the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: My screen seems to be frozen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it