10 Things That Sound Dirty On Christmas, But Aren't:

     1. Did you get any under the tree?
     2. I think your balls are hanging too low.
     3. Check out Rudolph's honker!
     4. Santa's sack is really bulging.
     5. Lift up the skirt so I can clean underneath.
     6. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
     7. I love licking the end till it's real sharp and pointy.
     8. From here, you can't tell if they're artificial or real.
     9. Can I interest you in some dark meat?
     10. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against a wall.