The Unhappy Astronaut

America, Russia and Japan are sending up a two year shuttle 
mission with one astronaut from each country. Since it's going 
to be two years up there, each may take any form of entertainment 
weighing 150 pound or less.

The American approaches the NASA board and asks to take his 
125 lb wife. They approve.

The Japanese astronaut says, "I've always wanted to learn Greek. 
I want 150 lbs of books to learn Greek with." The NASA
board approves.

The Russian astronaut thinks for a second and says, "It's gonna 
be two years up there. I want 150 pounds of the best Cuban
cigars ever made." Again, NASA okays it.

Two years later, the shuttle lands and everyone is gathered 
outside the shuttle to see what each astronaut got out of his 
personal entertainment. Well, it's obvious what the American's 
been up to, He and his wife are each holding and infant. The 
crowd cheers. 

The Japanese astronaut steps out and makes a 10 minute speech 
in absolutely perfect Greek. The crowd doesn't understand a word of 
it, but they're impressed and they cheer. The
Russian astronaut stomps out, clenches the podium until his
knuckles turn white, glares at the first row waving a chewed up 
cigar at them and says:

"Anybody got a match?!"